Title: Help Me Through the Night
Pairing: none. Nick-Hodges friendship
Genre: one-shot, friendship fic. Hurt/comfort (what can I say? That's my speciality!)
Summary: Hodges sees Nick in hospital with his defenses down. Post-GD.
Disclaimer: If I owned CSI, this scene would wrap up GD part II.
A/N: This fic is based on ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
kitap's comment over at this discussion thread on ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
nick_discussion. It unintentionally fired my muse right up!
--
Hodges sat awkwardly on the single, uncomfortable plastic chair in Nick's hospital room, while Nick was curled on his side facing him, drawing in quick, ragged gasps of air. Though he was sedated, Nick wasn't asleep, too keyed up from the events of the past twenty-four hours to let himself drift off. Nick's anxiety and adrenaline wrestling the sedatives left him in an in-between state, barely responsive but with his brown eyes still open, in which Hodges saw raw fear and the remnants of panic.
They remained like this for, to Hodges' estimate, a long time, not saying anything to each other. Hodges wanted to question his decision to come visit Nick. Not only did he lack the skills to comfort Nick, he also lacked the right to. He wasn't Catherine, unwritten CSI mother-hen; quite the opposite, in fact. He was snarky Hodges, who couldn't give anyone their trace results without a wise-ass remark first. He was probably just an annoying lab-tech to Nick, and Nick probably wasn't even expecting him to be here.
Then he remembered his reason for coming, and any doubts he had dissipated right away. He needed to see how Nick was doing. There was no way he could get any sleep that afternoon if he had to speculate Nick's state and the extent of his injuries. He was-- he was concerned for Nick, he realized with surprise. He couldn't come with Archie, Henry, Wendy and the rest of the lab rats either. Visiting Nick wasn't some field trip to the zoo to see an exhibit. This was a something personal he had to do, alone.
His train of thought was interrupted by their subject himself, when Hodges noticed Nick's hands becoming increasingly fidgety. Nick was alternating between clutching tightly at the bedspread, tracing rapid patterns on the bed and clenching and unclenching his fists. Nick's hand movements were subtle at first -- Hodges noticed them when he first came in-- but had grown so agitated that Hodges started to worry.
He was just about to ask if Nick was in pain when Nick rasped hoarsely, "H-hodges, c-can I have some water, please?"
--
Nick was itching, and not just physically from the ant bites. He didn't think it was possible, but more than the physical itching, he was yearning so badly to touch someone, to feel the warmth of someone else, just to know he was alive. Twenty four hours alone, surrounded on all sides by cold, hard plexiglass and then the shudder-inducing prickling of ants across his skin made him ache so painfully for human contact. Cisco and Mom always told him he was a demonstrative kid, but he never felt such a strong desire to just reach for someone until now.
He wished, at the very least, that Hodges would sit closer to the bed so he could be reassured by his presence, instead of distancing himself and leaving a few feet between himself and Nick's bed.
Nick decided to ask Hodges for some water. His throat was parched and he thought that, if he satisfied his physical needs, maybe his desperate emotional need would subside too.
--
Hodges was relieved to have something useful to do that didn't require any of his non-existent emotional skills. He readily lept out of his chair, only too obliging to pour Nick some water from the jug by his bedside. As he reached for a cup, his hands in front of him, he had a quick flashback to those very hands -- his hands-- examining the prototype coffin. He felt himself shudder and subconsciously, Hodges ran his hands down his shirt, as though to wipe off the memory of what they had to do just earlier. Then Hodges pulled himself together and continued with getting the water for Nick.
He wordlessly guided the straw in the full cup of water towards Nick's lips and Nick gulped it down thirstily. In three seconds flat, Nick downed the entire cup. Hodges was going to ask if Nick wanted a refill when Nick began coughing and spluttering. Hodges looked on in alarm for a moment, but soon realized that some water probably entered Nick's windpipe by accident. He just drank too quickly, Hodges thought to himself, relieved that it wasn't anaphylactic shock or something else serious.
Though it was just a minor incident, Hodges couldn't leave Nick to ride it out by himself right now. Not after the entire ordeal Nick had to endure today, not after he'd just been pushed to a person's breaking point. Nick was dreadfully distressed, trying to tighten himself further into a fetal ball as he continued to hack violently.
For the first time since he could remember, Hodges didn't shun a coughing person when normally, all he could think about was the germs they were transmitting. That didn't even cross his mind as he scooted closer to Nick's side to tell him that it was just some water down the wrong pipe, in case Nick was unaware, to assure him that it would be over soon and to soothe Nick's tightly wound up state.
Without processing his actions through his usual guarded defense, Hodges' natural instinct made him reach out his arm to rub Nick's back. He was quite taken aback when Nick suddenly reached his both hands up and clutched at his forearm instead. Hodges recovered quickly and took it surprisingly well in his stride. Anything that makes Nick comfortable now, he thought.
Nick's coughing eased up soon enough and he quieted as he settled, but he found himself unable to let go of David's arm. It was his life buoy, his connection to sanity after his day in hell almost left him marooned on an island of delirium, and he held on tightly.
"'m sorry, David", Nick whispered shamefully to Hodges.
"That's okay, everyone chokes on water sometimes." Hodges answered.
Nick closed his eyes, finally allowing sleep to claim him. Only then did Hodges realize that Nick was probably apologizing for clinging on to his arm. "Oh." He added quietly, "That's okay too."
More A/N: If you think you see influences from GD-fics from other writers here, you're not alone, cos I think I see them too. Reading fics from other writers set the foundation for my writing, and my style is integrally based on some other writers' style also. Just hope it isn't overly similar!
Also, I'm terrible at titles and this one came to mind at the last minute. It's actually the title of a song from The Eagles (best American band in history!) You can check it out on youtube here. It's a great song, great video, great performance. Very sad and soulful. Actually, it doesn't set the mood for this fic for me, but maybe it will for you. Either way, it's worth a listen!
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